A Posture of Trust

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

My husband squeezed my hand, settling in by my side at the doctor’s office, as the sonographer prepared to perform the first ultrasound of my second pregnancy. The mood was light and friendly. The sonographer and I went to high school together, played basketball and volleyball, and she had also been our tech during my first pregnancy with our beautiful 15-month-old daughter. The chatty room grew reverent as we recognized the first glimpse of our second child. My friend focused closely on her screen. She waited longer than normal, and right before I questioned the odd delay, my analytical observer of a husband jumped out of his seat, bounded up to the screen and confidently proclaimed, “There are two!” He excitedly turned and our eyes locked, mine full of shock and his full of joy. The sonographer soon confirmed my husband’s keen diagnosis, “Twins! TWINS!” I remember being grateful, thanking God for this remarkable pregnancy. Yet, fear of the unknown, the higher risk of this pregnancy, and the reality of the responsibility of soon having three children under the age of two threatened to overwhelm my joy of this incredible blessing. In the book of Numbers, the Israelites were at the brink of receiving an incredible gift from God; however, fear and lack of trust resulted in severe consequences.

The people of Israel had journeyed long to reach the Land of Canaan, a land chosen by God for his people. In Numbers 13 and 14 Joshua, one of the military leaders (Exodus 17) was chosen by Moses as one of the twelve spies sent to the Land of Canaan, the promised land. All the spies saw that the land was good, but ten of the spies feared the strength of the inhabitants and doubted their ability to overcome the enemy at hand. Fear overwhelmed the entire congregation of Israelites after hearing the reports, choosing to forget God’s faithful provision leading them out of captivity in Egypt, through the parting of the Red Sea, and now in this crucial moment.

Joshua and Caleb were the only two spies who believed God would deliver the land to the Israelites, saying, "The Lord is with us. Do not fear them." Their courage and confidence in God's power, which had been demonstrated again and again, was not well received, and the other Israelites planned to stone them (Numbers 14:10).

God had already promised this land to His chosen people, and on the cusp of receiving this great blessing, fear poisoned their hearts as they rebelled against God, rejecting His great gift. Only Moses’ intercession saved the people from God’s wrath; yet, there was still punishment for their lack of obedience:

Then the LORD said: “I have pardoned, according to your word; but truly, as I live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD — because all these men who have seen My glory and the signs which I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and have put Me to the test now these ten times, and have not heeded My voice, they certainly shall not see the land of which I swore to their fathers, nor shall any of those who rejected Me see it.

Numbers 14:20-23

Looking back at the memory of finding out we were pregnant with twins, I will always be incredibly thankful for my husband’s leadership. His joy and excitement set the tone for our journey in becoming twin parents and encouraged me to celebrate this gift instead of allowing fear to have control. Without his courage to face this new challenge with joy and thanksgiving, I could have easily fallen into the sin of giving fear power, similar to the Israelites' pattern. With each doctor’s visit, specialist visit, and ultimately facing surgical delivery, I would remind myself of the verse, Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Moses spoke these powerful words to Joshua after forty years wandering the desert since the Israelites' great rebellion. It was now time for the passing of the baton of leadership to one of the men who had trusted in God, when so many did not. This "doorframe" verse became an anthem during my twin pregnancy, giving me peace and reminding me that God was with me every step of the way.

Later, as I stared in wonder at my two precious sons in my arms, I prayed and continue to pray these words over their lives. Little did I know learning this lesson of trust and obedience would be crucial, as our family endured several difficult circumstances in the months that followed the birth of our twin boys; my husband lost his brother to cancer, my father lost sight in his right eye, and my newborn niece hospitalized with RSV. My husband and I will sometimes ask each other how we got through this challenging season of life, but we both know the answer. It was not us. It was the strength and the courage that God kindly provided, especially to my husband who wisely navigated our family, often putting our needs before his own even in his grief.

God, himself, spoke to Joshua as he set out to lead, encouraging him: “Be strong and courageous, for you will bring the Israelites into the land I promised them on oath, and I myself will be with you.” (Deuteronomy 31:23).

Let us posture our hearts to trust in Him daily, not allowing fear to steal the gifts God has so graciously given us.

Be strong.

Be courageous.

He will be with you.