Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10
As women, we can all recall that one time (or several times) we were sitting on the bathroom floor, weeping and wailing over the shame, guilt, worry or insecurity that was drowning us. Tha bathroom tile feels glued to the bottom of our thighs just like the anxious thoughts that seem sealed to the forefront of our minds. It feels like nothing can get us off the bathroom floor.
I can recall this time for myself just like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was getting ready for church with my husband. As I began to wrap my strand of hair around the curling iron, my mind began to flood with the most anxious thoughts I had ever had. “How am I going to take care of this child that I am bearing?” “There is no way I can be a good pastor’s wife.” “What am I doing 2000 miles away from my family?” My breath became short, my palms began to sweat, and I couldn’t see the woman that was in the mirror. As my knees begin to weaken, I can’t help but be glued to the infamous bathroom floor. I cry out with an immense amount of doubt and I can’t seem to find joy anywhere.
There are several different types of “cries” we experience in our lifetime, especially being the emotional women we were created to be. We cry out to those around us, knowing that they will help to guide us out of our troubles. As an infant, we cried to our mother, confident that she would comfort us. As young girls, we reached out to friends that have had similar experiences, knowing they can give us practical wisdom. But most importantly, we are called to cry out to the Holy God who is the source of our salvation, cleansing us of our sin and restoring our souls. But how often do we run to God when we are filled with anxious thoughts that keep us on the bathroom floor tile?
Psalm 51 is our scripture model of what it looks and sounds like to cry out to the God Who restores and renews us daily. We are able to ask Him for grace, faithfulness, abundance, compassion and even freedom from the evilness that overtakes us. Our God is different from this world because He doesn’t just listen but answers the cries of our hearts. As verse 10 of the Psalm reminds us, our salvation creates a clean heart within us which can transform any thought and action we have ever had.
The next time your thoughts overtake you and drag you on to the floor, remember we have a merciful and faithful God who hears our cries and renews a steadfast spirit within us. There is no amount of evil, anxiety, doubt or shame that can separate us from the Lord and the clean heart that is available through Him. Let this verse and the rest of this passage be a doorframe reminder to you and to the people around you.
You have a church family who will hold you., coddle you, and support you as yiu carry this precious baby that we will love and support also.. if you fall, we will catch you before you hit the floior.