But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
Psalm 19:12-13
Growing up in the church, I always knew the rules and did my best to adhere to them. I never had a rebellious streak against my parents or against God. I did everything I could to not get into trouble. Couple that with a general lack of inner-self-awareness and the process of naming specific sins that I need forgiveness for has always been very difficult for me. I’ve never doubted that as a human I’m a sinner in need of grace (Romans 3:23 is pretty blunt); but the specifics of what I have done, especially chronically, that I need ongoing forgiveness has always been elusive to me.
When doing the Flourish study last year, I found these verses in Psalms and finally felt less guilt for feeling so foggy about my sins. In this passage, David has spent the first 11 verses of Psalm 19 explaining how creation praises God and how supreme God’s laws are. He then turns to acknowledge that he has blind spots, and to ask forgiveness for sins he’s not even aware of. Oh, how comforting it was to hear that God can offer blanket forgiveness and He doesn’t erase only the specifically-named sins! David’s acknowledgment that self-discernment can be difficult also points us towards the community of friends and the Church to help illuminate sin in our lives.
David then moves to address the “willful sins” in verse 13. He, like most of us, wants to do what is right in God’s eyes. However, in our sinful and self-serving nature, we choose the wrong path. David’s prayer though is that God will protect him from the wrong path just as Jesus instructs us to pray in the Lord’s prayer – Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
David’s last request is also very relatable – being blameless and innocent! While I know that sinning is inevitable, the perfectionist in me would love to be as close to blameless as possible. I also know though that any sin is enough sin to be guilty before God and only through Jesus am I blameless or innocent.
So, while even my imperfections are imperfect, I can rest in God’s mercy to overlook even my hidden sins, His Spirit to keep me from willful sins, and His Son to make me blameless of all my sins. Wherever you are in your journey dear sister, I hope this brings you encouragement and hope in God’s complete forgiveness.