The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. Psalm 145:18
The gentle breeze comes across my shoulders as I sit among the beauty of God’s creation. The peaceful chirping of the birds, the distant sounds of a lawn mower, the laughter of young girls playing while the sound of crickets fill the air. I sit here listening to the sounds and wondering, “Are You there, Lord?” This is a question I have asked many times in my life.
Twelve years ago I was facing the end of my marriage of twenty three years. Feeling very empty, lost and defeated, I didn’t know where to turn. I was faced with many questions from our children – at the time three were grown and living on their own and two were still living at home in school. Leaving behind the hurt that one feels when their family is torn apart is difficult and sometimes gut wrenching. The guilt and shame were overwhelming. I remember thinking that things couldn’t get any worse, but I was wrong. I received that dreaded call that my father was dying and I needed to go home. So I packed up and made my journey back to Florida. Feeling very alone and scared, I asked out loud, “Are You there Lord?”
One evening during a terrible rain storm, I pulled over and sat in my car in front of this beautiful lake. I was listening to the rain and thunder while watching the lightning strike. I began to sob uncontrollably. Banging my head on the dashboard, I screamed “Are You there Lord?” I turned on the radio as I often do to sooth my soul. The song ”Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns was playing. I remember thinking, “Is this the Lord talking to me through song? Can He hear me? Does He know my heart?”
Psalm 145:18 – The Lord is near to call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. Some things are harder to do than others but I knew I had to seek the Lord and confess all that had happened, ask for forgiveness and be still so the Lord could guide me.
Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God.
After months of being on this new journey, my dear friend in Ohio asked me to join a mission trip to Savannah Georgia. I was still living in Florida at the
time with my son who was still in school. Never being on a mission trip, my son and I decided to join them. To say that it changed my life is an understatement! For five days I experienced what it was like to serve others by doing yard work for the elderly, folding clothes for a women’s shelter, helping low income families and so much more. But the best moments were the Bible studies and worship times we shared. The final night we had a communion service and a sunset service on the beach. I was sitting in awe of God’s creation, listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the sandy beach. I remember thinking once again, “Are You there God?”, but this time was different. I heard a voice saying, “Yes, I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my right hand. As tears fell slowly down my face, in an instant I knew the Lord was with me. I felt a sense of peace come over me and a strength to face whatever was to come.
Jumping ahead twelve years, I have married the man God chose for me. We were baptized together in the Gulf of Mexico. We live our lives with Christ as the center of all things. We have dedicated our lives to serving others. Our seven children and eight grandchildren have grown to see us pledge our lives to each other with our faith at the forefront. God is so good! So if you are ever faced with dark and difficult times, remember the seek the Lord because He is always there.
You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
Jesus said to them “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
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