Speak the Truth in Love

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)

Dark chocolate-covered almonds are one of the best road trip snacks. The balance of the sweet chocolate mixed with the salty crunch creates a satisfying treat. (Also, I recently tried pistachios covered in toffee and dark chocolate—highly recommended!) The nutrition an almond offers is more palatable when paired with the sweetness of the chocolate.

Combining sweet and salty foods is a practice that began with ancient civilizations, and today, there are countless options to easily enjoy this balance of flavor. Finding the perfect balance in our communication with others, however, is not as simple. In his letter to the church in Ephesus, Paul highlights the importance and the impact of encircling truth in love.

Ephesians chapter four encourages believers by giving us insight into how to mature in Christ, and then Paul warns of the consequences if we allow "hardness of heart" to cloud our understanding. There are many practical insights given in this letter, including a "door frame" verse in my life: "Speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15a). This verse stands out to me, as it succinctly advises the important practice of wisdom and discernment in communication with our brothers and sisters in Christ. The author is also teaching how to discern the truth and not be susceptible to the dilution or misalignment of the gospel (Ephesians 4:14).

I grew up in a strict home where sometimes the truth was cloaked in anger instead of love. I could not deny the truth, but the bitter delivery often led to resentment of the messenger. Speaking truth is integral to living a life that brings glory to God; however, the motivation behind the message may be lacking or sadly damaging. It reminds me of the TV show "House", where the titular character is a doctor whose unconventional diagnostic capabilities are genius; yet, his bedside manner is caustic, alienating him from patients and colleagues. Perhaps you have heard the phrase, "Honesty without tact is cruelty." Speaking the truth in hatred, hurt, or haste often damages relationships. The book of James compares the tongue to a fire: "It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." Now, as a wife and mother, the importance of taming the tongue is more crucial than ever. I have learned I can say the exact same words, but my tone, body language, and timing make all the difference to the reception of my message.

While I was raised in a household with a propensity for directness, sometimes weaponizing the truth, others are raised receiving gentle admonitions without accountability to alleviate the discomfort that truth can sometimes bring. Especially today, there seems to be a growing trend to shield or water down the truth. People sometimes choose to sweep conflict under the rug in order to keep the peace. Sadly, this habit of choosing fake harmony and ignoring the truth creates an undercurrent of tension and makes relationships fragile and shallow. For people who lean towards speaking love without the truth, remember Jesus’ words in John 8, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” First, immerse yourself in the scriptures, permeating your mind with the well of truth which will then flow out of your heart. Then you will enjoy the supernatural peace and freedom that only come from Jesus, who is the way, the truth, and the life.

Join me in pursuing the word of God to help mature our understanding of the truth.

Join me in the practice of slowing down our tongues in order to ensure our words, tone, and timing are right as we share the truth.

Join me in the prayer that God will open our eyes to the relationships in our lives that need cultivating, so we can successfully plant seeds of truth.

Join me in speaking the truth in love.